She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
