My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
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WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
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If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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