carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just cropdusted the office
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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