so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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