So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
