I faked an abortion last night.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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