mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
