another moral hangover. fuck.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he shaved USA in his pubs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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