Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize