butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
