We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
