is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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