last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
