I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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