If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
