I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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