it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
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just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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