I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
