I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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