Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
