Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
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I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
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well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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