I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
