help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
