You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
