he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The power of my boobs compel you
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize