Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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