She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
