My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
What a dumb baby whore.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
