Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
