When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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