Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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