And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
i out mim tonsoeep
And then he peed in my hair
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