I think my fart just growled at me.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
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THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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