only if we run a train.
done.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
