My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
