He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
