4 words: hood of his car
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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