What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
