Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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