i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize