so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.