Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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