In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
