definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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