my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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