he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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