i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize