You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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