so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
