Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize