I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
organizing the empties. That sober.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
