i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
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I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
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Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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