cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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