u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
