thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
