Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
