you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
