I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
