I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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