For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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