I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I have tasted many bathrooms
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
