what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
